Oh, well Mom said all I had to use was the sponge and dish detergent. — 12-year-old daughter, when her father told her he used elbow grease to get the dishes clean.
I’m not an oxymoron! — age 7.
I’m being haive! — 2-year-old son, when his mother told him to behave.
I tell my 2-year-old that his ears must be tired because they’re not listening, and he responds:
Umm no, they’re not tired. I think their batteries died.