I can do it weller than you! — Lina, age 4, as we’re splashing in the water.
In France, where I’m from, we tell children that Easter eggs fall from the sky — dropped by church bells flying back from Rome (long story short). When I told this to my 4-year-old girl, she said:
That’s stupid! I’m too small, how am I gonna get those stuck in the trees?
Elevator! Elevator! — Margaux, age 4, after I asked her to call the elevator.
My daughter (7) asks my son (4) if he would prefer to live with Mommy or with Daddy if we were to divorce. His answer:
Neither. I would go live with Grandpa and Grandma, to punish them.
After a very long car trip crossing two countries, my 4-year-old girl wakes up and deduces, with relief:
So… all roads are bound to all roads… Then, thoughtfully:
If there were gaps… we would fall…
My younger girl was born prematurely and had to stay in an incubator for two months. I regularly took my older girl, age 21/2, to visit her.
Time passed, and my younger finally joined us home. A few days after her arrival, my older one announced:
Mommy, it’s enough, I think we can put her back in her box now.
Mommy, I couldn’t have come out of your belly, because there’s no door in your belly!
I don’t think Santa exists, because deers can’t fly since they don’t have wings. — NKL, age 7.
You told me babies are made when parents get married. Does that mean Jane and John got married three times???! — NKL, 7, talking about parents of three.
Soooooo, Dad, before the Big Bang, … — NKL, age 7.
At dinner table, my step-mother compliments my soup, saying how rich it is. I notice my 4-year-old boy starting to stir his bowl frantically… After a while, he looks up, confused, and asks:
Where’s the money?
We’re at a pizzeria. My 6-year-old suggests I get the four-cheese pizza. I tell him there might be too much cheese for me in that one, to which he answers:
Order a three-cheese pizza!
I hear my sons (6 and 9) fighting pretty loudly, so I decide to check on them. As I reach the hallway, the older bursts out of their room and cries (talking about his brother):
Dad, he’s ruining my childhood!
Why does it get colder the higher you go even though you’re getting closer to the sun? — Damian, age 11.
I bet it’s to let us stay in and play video games — Adrian, age 9, after I commented on the sudden bad weather one morning during our summer beach vacation.