Grandma, why can’t I put orange soda in my porridge?
— Jori, age 5.
NKL (7): “Dad, vegetables taste reaaally bad, they s*** big time!”
Me: “Why do you talk like this?!”
NKL: Hmm… because I’m honest?
Liver must be good for vegetarians!
— after hearing that liver contains a lot of protein.
At a family gathering, my 6-year-old son Joey stared at an older man throughout the occasion. When the time came to go, he shyly approached him and said: “When are you going to do your trick?” The man asked what trick he was talking about, whereupon Joey responded: My daddy said you drink like a fish!
They put salt & pepper in the water?
— Lina, age 4, after swallowing a bit of sea water during our beach vacation.
Do you also have cookies for kids?
— Lina, age 4, after I gave my dogs a treat.
We’re having a big family dinner. My 4-year-old girl watches my mother’s cousin carefully as she is serving red wine. She seems bothered by it, and finally asks, loudly, why she’s not filling the entire glass. My mother, who’s sitting next to us, explains to her that wine is not served like water or milk, that the glass shouldn’t be filled to the brim. To which she answers, still loudly: That’s not how my Mom does it at home!
We’re at a pizzeria. My 6-year-old suggests I get the four-cheese pizza. I tell him there might be too much cheese for me in that one, to which he answers: Order a three-cheese pizza!
My 6-year-old son is devouring half a watermelon. I tell him: “Make sure to spit out the seeds otherwise a watermelon plant will grow in your tummy.” He looks at me as if I were crazy and answers: That’s impossible, Dad! There’s no sunlight in my belly.
We’re in Venice, Italy, on a vaporetto (water bus), and there’s a bell pepper floating in the canal. Adrian, my 7-year-old son, points at it and laughs: Mummy look, I didn’t know peppers were seafood!
Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.
— Brad, age 8, describing how people in love act.
