Dad, where are his batteries? — my son, after playing for a while with a Jack Russell puppy.

Posted on Sep 19, 2016 at 09:46 am in Animals, Technology Comments

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Liver must be good for vegetarians! — after hearing that liver contains a lot of protein.

Posted on Sep 04, 2016 at 11:30 pm in Food, Science Comments

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Me: “Are you asleep?”
Anna (7): YES!

Posted on Aug 29, 2016 at 10:32 am in Life Comments

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Mommy, mommy, look! A horse! — a 3- or 4-year-old child seeing me walk by with my dog, a Bull Terrier (Target’s mascot).

Posted on Aug 12, 2016 at 05:37 pm in Animals Comments

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NK (7): “Dad, I’m gonna dig a hole in the garden.”
Me: “OK”
NK: “Can I paint it black?”
Me: “Sure!”
NK: Cool! It will suck all the light around and earth will collapse into it because of, you know, gravity.

Posted on Aug 10, 2016 at 12:27 pm in Science Comments

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Me: “Hi baby!”
Louise (2): Me not baby, me LOUISE!

Posted on Aug 09, 2016 at 07:58 am in Life, Words Comments

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My 7-year-old is a terrible singer. In order to increase his interest in singing, I show him several astonishing Britain’s Got Talent performances: kids singing, opera singers, gospel choruses. His eyes sparkle, he’s thrilled. Then he turns to me and says: Daaad! When I grow up… I want to become Simon Cowell!

Posted on Aug 05, 2016 at 09:36 am in Arts, TV Comments

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Not my favorite! — Aidan (9 years old tomorrow)’s answer when he doesn’t like or want what is being offered; Trump included.

Posted on Aug 04, 2016 at 03:27 pm in Life Comments

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I’m the best at dyslexia — Rick, age 9.

Posted on Aug 02, 2016 at 05:14 pm in School Comments

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My daughter (4) who’s very fond of my new husband: “Are you going to divorce him?”
Me: “Of course not, why do you ask?”
My daughter: Because I would never find another mother as nice as you!

Posted on Jul 27, 2016 at 10:13 pm in Family Comments

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I ask my 10-year-old daughter if her room is clean. She answers: Depends on who’s judging.

Posted on Jul 19, 2016 at 05:52 pm in Chores Comments

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After what seemed like hours of answering question after question (“why this,” “why that,” … ), every response being followed up with another question, I eventually told my 5-year-old boy: “I don’t know.” He proceeded, unfazed: Why don’t you know?

Posted on Jul 08, 2016 at 04:48 pm in Life Comments

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Exhume me — my 4-year-old girl’s pronunciation of “excuse me.”

Posted on Jul 07, 2016 at 06:15 pm in Words Comments

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At a family gathering, my 6-year-old son Joey stared at an older man throughout the occasion. When the time came to go, he shyly approached him and said: “When are you going to do your trick?” The man asked what trick he was talking about, whereupon Joey responded: My daddy said you drink like a fish!

Posted on Jul 06, 2016 at 09:20 pm in Embarrassing, Food Comments

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A year or two before my boy wanted to be President, abolish money and establish an economic system based on trade, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would confidently answer: Garbage truck.

Posted on Jul 06, 2016 at 08:47 am in Life Comments

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